A good looking man walked
into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie
star." Tall, handsome and, with experience on Broadway, he had the
The agent asked, "What's your name?"
The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old. I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years. You will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name, or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together," the guy said, and he left the agent's office.
Five years later the agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a cheque for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck. Who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood. You
told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my
God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in
Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I
thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to
change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed
with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name,
so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.
Dick van Dyke